:)

To fulfil a wish

2009-12-24T23:29:00.003+08:00

My palpitations were bad (though considered mild) the past few days, and somehow I guess these palpitations serve as good reminders to me - that there is no time to waste! I have a wish this lifetime - to share my life story with many many people and inspire them to move on with life bravely, embrace challenges and odds heads on. I want to motivate and encourage like how many others have done the same to me all these years. I wish to pay this forward by sharing with others this journey. But I have never got down to really seriously think about how I should start. My palpitations reminded me that it's time to quickly fulfil this wish of mine this lifetime. The condition is undergoing cycles of deterioration and stabilisation, and so I better do it while I'm good - which is now.

I thought maybe it's easier to start with the schools - but I realised there's a freaking long list of secondary schools in singapore =\ So I decided to narrow down and start from a smaller group of institutions. I gathered all the email addresses of all junior colleges in Singapore and I found out the names of the respective principals. Guess what, I emailed all of them! I told them about my condition going through cycles and that I really hope to fulfil a wish of mine this lifetime while I am stable and relatively well - which is now. This wish of mine is to speak to many many people, share with them my life story and inspire them as much as many others have inspired me throughout these years. I wish to pay this forward by sharing, and I am sincere about this.

Don't know if there'll be replies from the principals, but I am really looking forward to giving talks. :] I am looking forward to feeling scared, and emotional after each session... because I know that with each time I share about it I will gain a little more courage to do it again. I am prepared to pluck up the courage to share deeply for I know that if I could touch the life of one single soul in every ten, the sense of accomplishment would cover all the initial negative feelings of fear.

This is the wish I always wish, the prayer I always pray
that my life shall touch the lives of people, it passes by the way. :]

Flights

2009-12-21T18:28:00.008+08:00

I knew today's gonna be a happy day - and indeed it has been one! Today is a day of departures and arrivals. In the morning I was at the Terminal 1 departure hall sending off the Myanmar Team and taking group photo for them. Coincidentally, there are so many people I know in this year's team...cos about 6 of them are from NJC including Peiyee Xiangling and Connie! And I passed Cheesiong dage my letter for Su Su Htwe. :)

Later at 11am I left the departure hall for the arrival hall. Met up with nengneng's dayi and mummy and waited for her to come out of belt 16. It's my first time waiting at the arrival hall my whole life, I didn't know it's going to be so exciting :D I just stared into the information screen seeing the landing time get delayed and delayed again until suddenly it turns red and says "Phnom Penh - LANDED" I was soooo damn relieved and happy. :D ok maybe because it's nengneng that's why.

Nn's mum drove us to The Dome restaurant at Bishan for lunch and then back nn's home. Don't wanna elaborate what she did at home omg. All the things just unpack and let them lie around and... ahh dun talk about it. seriously, pig. Here comes the thrill - my bestie then decided to DRIVE me out to a bustop near junction 8 where there's bus 55. Ok no complains, smooth driving. But then don't know why I can't stop smiling even until now. I wonder how many have felt emotionally moved while being driven by someone. With traffic congestion and all that we know Singapore has more than enough cars and almost everyone drives or had a car ride before. But to be driven around by someone who just picked up driving is really alot of trust required. And if you trust that person enough don't you feel gandong...even more so when it's your best friend. :] :] :]

This great sense of joy today also comes from hearing her stories and experiences in Cambodia. I am like so proud of nn now and AHHH so proud that my head is going to burst! :D :D and that one most important thing is I'm so happy she's safe back home. When this feeling becomes overwhelming, you actually wont be looking forward to presents or anything the person has bought back for you... instead, you'll already be jumping with joy when you see the word "LANDED" and then see the person safe and well infront of you - even better, when you see how much the person has grown and enriched him/herself. :D

Almost wanted to go down to Changi Airport again tonight to send Meow Auntie off. My mummy's turn to send her best friend... but Meow auntie said her flight to Perth would be at 1am and so told us not to send her. And while on the phone just now she not just told me this. She told me lots of other things too and I could hear her voice start to tremble. I know she's crying at the other end, but I chose to pretend not to know. This is a continuation from her phone conversation with my mum this morning I guess. I overheard while changing. My mum told her all about me finding out my parentage and meeting my biological mother. She told meow auntie how traumatised I was that day when I came back from meeting my biological mother... and that how I was crying as I told her about the big tattoo I saw on my biological mother's back... her golden-brown hair etc. She also told meow-auntie that I really dote on them alot, and that she's really happy with life now even though they have not been working and financially there is a need to scrimp and save.

Meow-auntie's husband had passed away long ago while I was a toddler... and actually, he was the one who brought my mum to the maternity home to adopt me. Therefore, meow-uncle is really the one who gave me a family, at least you can say that. I am always thankful to meow-auntie and her family. After learning about me finding out the truth, auntie told me over the phone just a while ago lots of stuff that revolve around that issue. What really moved me was she told me that if ever I need help financially don't be afraid to approach her...cos my mummy has done alot for her when they were both younger. My mum helped look after her daughter meowmeow jiejie (who gave me tuition when i was young but has already migrated to Perth). My mum earned meagre salary working as a maid at her house and that's how they found their best friends in each other. And my mummy actually gave up all her salary to help my cousins pay school fees when their father (my uncle) spends much of his wealth on his second wife/mistress at malaysia. Meow-auntie also told me about my mum standing up for unjustice and fighting out with men who bullied her friends.

Meow-auntie told me how much my mummy has done for her and her family during those days...and here was when her voice started to show signs of tremble. She then said over the phone:

"Your mum is a really great person. I am so happy that she's finally living a better life now after slogging so much for others. She took care of my family, and she took care of meowmeowjiejie, and then she brought up you... I am really happy that she found you... because you brought so much happiness into her life do you know that... your mum has had a really hard life all these years. And I am really happy she found you because you are such a nice girl. You know Zhen, people don't meet by chance. People meet for a reason, and friendships are formed the same way. It's fate, and predestined by the above. Not everyone you meet in your life is someone you can call your best friend or your mummy. You have to take care of her ok. Don't have to send auntie off, just pray for meowmeow auntie. Any help just approach auntie, auntie will help you. Don't need to feel bad, because your mummy is my best friend and you are her life. I will help you because I will do anything for her."

I am moved. I am really moved.

Koh Family's Chalet

2009-12-21T17:45:00.000+08:00

I went for mei's family chalet yesterday, and so I got a chance to meet up with all her mummy's friends, her boyfriend Mr. Lek Chin Meng, and her popo and ahma yada yada. Man I had a great time chatting with the old 3 eldest people, her popo, her old ahma, and her big aunt. More importantly, I chatted with Chin Meng and found out more about the two of them. and I must say mei looked really adorable when she was ******. that is why i was "creating joy amidst catastrophe" and laughing even though it wasn't funny.

Anyway, I had a good chat with Yao Zhong, mei's younger brother on our way home. Cos the two of us brought the 3 elders out to take shuttle bus and MRT home. I learned that you really can't judge a book by its cover, and sometimes you just gotta hear both sides of the story. Applying this to teaching, I have to hear the child's side of the story and not just the parents'. The parents might be wrong, even the siblings can be wrong. And hence a boy whom I thought looked playful and whom I heard is naughty and 'samseng' turned out to be a really sensible and mature boy. From words that come out of someone's mouth you just know, the person's maturity level. And from the way he interacts with elderly. Man I am impressed, and I am so glad that Auntie Beth has a great family, three wonderful and sensible children - huimin huixin and yaozhong. She deserves good children and I am really happy for her. :]

It's an even more pleasant surprise to know that this boy also aspires to be a teacher.

Today I learned that sometimes I should trust my own perceptions of people, and conclude how they are really like only after getting to know more about them. :]

///EDITED:
Mei got accepted by Pathlight school as a Teacher Assistant! They actually interviewed 200 applicants for just 30 places! :D

Keep me busy!

2009-12-14T23:33:00.002+08:00

I was extremely busy during the week that just passed, but it was an extremely fulfilling week. I guess people need to be kept busy to feel like life can go on. For the week that passed there was a 2-day 9am to 5am MOE seminar, to educate us on the developments in public policies, government structure, role of civil servants and social challenges. Then there was toastmasters to keep me busy with my speech. And there was tuition twice a week (now it continues though). There was my appointment at National Heart Centre, visiting Seth at TaoNan, sending nn off to Cambodia at the airport, stayover yada yada.

And this coming week in comparison I am going to be extremely free. Somehow, I'm starting to feel aimless already...I guess it's because there's little to look forward to. OH OTHER THAN 21st DECEMBER. :] :] and 25th!!

So I am finding things to do now...looking up the NVPC website to see where else I can volunteer my time away. :] and maybe I should go for the christmas outing with MINDS this saturday to catch up with the residents a little now that the 'scabies epidemic' at mindsville is over. Ahh i can bring my parents everywhere to eat! :D

Actually while I am keeping myself busy and trying to keep my parents busy with our noisy and talkative pet bird at home, I am also quite sad to see that they have stopped working and are just either home or out to the market or void deck now - when i don't bring them out. Ohh once in a while they follow the other residents in this neighbourhood to trips organised for senior citizens by philanthropists. Last month was grandparents' month and there were lots of such outings to marina bay floating platform, churches, east coast, temple dinners, deepavali celebrations, mooncake festival concerts etc and i am so happy to see papa and mummy occupied.

But it's no longer grandparents month. Sigh. why do people have to grow old.

I am running away from reality I think. One reason why I'm so afraid of being "free" and having nothing to do..and why I like to be kept busy is because I don't want to be given a chance to think about my biological father, whom I don't know who.

I really want to find out who he is, yet the only clues I have of him now from the first and last time I met my biological mother in march are that I look ALOT like him, he has the surname Yap, he is exactly 50 this year and 51 next year, and he should be in Singapore still. But how do I start this search without a photo (my biological mother said she was so angry then that she threw away everything that belonged to him). I don't wish to live this lifetime without eventually finding out who is the man who gave me my life...but I dont know where to start... and the worse is, I don't really know whether I want to start. I don't wish to hurt my parents, even though they were understanding enough to allow me to meet up with my biological mother in march. Of course, I assured them that they are my parents for now and no one else I will call papa and mummy other than them. Still, :(. And my close friends would know of how much I went through finding my biological mother. I am afraid of going through all the traumatic experiences again. I need alot courage to do that once more.

Mr. Yap, i wish you could just show up one day. And before the day I find out who you really are, I am crossing my fingers and hoping that you are a changed person now, not gambling anymore or idling around or getting involved with loan sharks again. I am hoping also, that you remember the woman you made pregnant and whom you didnt eventually marry..and the child she had to give birth to alone, and then, abandon. There is hurt, and there is anger, I can't really tell you how much of all that. But I think I have been taking the whole past one year to think about this and I am glad I am already prepared to forgive you.

*rubs the magic lamp hard*

emanel if

2009-12-12T18:01:00.002+08:00

A fuzzy feeling

2009-12-06T15:57:00.001+08:00

I was typing an sms to Mr Song and I thought I would like it to be recorded in this diary too.

"I know this is random ms song but i need to share this feeling. U know weesiang smsed me about harmoc concert next year. Ask me to gather responses from ppl my batch n older. And jianeng's batch and his own batch he will settle. Till now i'm still feeling v heartened that every year there's something in june to bring us all together again...like seeing the alumni band grow. Even tho there's only a small bunch of people from each batch...as batches graduate the alumni seems to be growing incrementally in strength, despite the absence of an exco or whatsoever. Because as batches graduate the small bunches come together as one bigger bunch, which grows bigger because the oldest bunches will still stay. i forwarded the message to everyone n there's always a bunch of replies showing such enthusiasm that leaves me greatly humbled. I am so heartened seeing how easy yet difficult it is to bring people together. and i'm so proud of them. :]"

Apparent Age: 14

2009-12-05T23:55:00.002+08:00

Today is my first tuition session with my new student for the coming academic year. =) My JC student has just finished her 'A' levels. I really hope she does well, or at least better than last year...and get into NUS Business. This new tuition job is still at the exact same place, under the same roof! Cos I am tutoring my JC student's cousin now - a girl who'll be sec three next year. It's time to revise Emaths and Chemistry!

Later in the afternoon I headed for WhiteSands Shopping Mall at Pasir Ris, for a fund-raising event there. The other Club Rainbow Singapore volunteers are there too to help with selling the charity pink dolphin bags. But anyway before I went there, I first went to the Popular bookstore to pick some good assessment books for my new student. A funny incident occurred while I was looking through the books. HAHA.

There were about 3 student part-timers there selling the school textbooks and helping sort them out with the parents. I spoke to one of them, asking her whether the book I was holding in my hand is comprehensive. I was holding to a sec3 emaths 500-questions assessment book. This was what she told me: "wah this book is alot of questions, I do until I went gong~ and actually it depends on your school lah if your school covers the sec 3 topics in sec 3 then this book is fine but if sec4 topics are taught in sec3 then the overlapping might be a problem... my school follows the syllabus so it's ok lahh, depends on your school lor." I asked: "So, do you think the questions here are challenging enough for yourself?" She answered: "Depends on whether your school has a high standard..you can try doing this assessment book I find it quite useful myself."

HAha... and this was what I told her that made her look stunned for a while. I said: "Err, no actually I'm buying for my student so I'm wondering if it would be good for her practice." That little girl remained stunned for awhile before she asked bashfully: "..har... er... how old are you?" Me: "My age starts with the digit 2 already haha". Her reply: "WAH, ok, u look my age.. paiseh..."

LOL. I know my apparent age now.

Wuzhen? [7]

2009-12-02T16:50:00.005+08:00

continuation...

-----Written 7/11/2008-----

Everything’s confirmed now. Didn’t expect the NTUC investment incident would be an opportunity to solve the many mental puzzles I’ve trying to fix in my head these past few months. Not exactly unexpected, yet why do I experience such strong feelings of despair, disappointment and betrayal? I guess there’s even more than that, just too much and too complex to be put into words perhaps.

I spoke to Amy (ah yon jiejie, my cousin) online the night before yesterday. It started with me asking her about her blood type, and then I found myself bluntly going into the topic. I told her about my encounter with the noodle man on bus 74, my observation that my blood group isn’t compatible with that of both my parents, as well as another discovery that my birth certificate date of issue is almost one year after my actual date of birth. And then she disclosed the truth to me. The truth I wanted to find out, yet didn’t wish to hear.

My parents aren’t my biological parents. So where do I come from? I’ve been racking my brains with many such repeating questions in my head. I think it’s only right for me to find out my family roots, genuine ancestral roots and who I resemble, the real man and woman who gave birth to me. But who are they? I tried finding out from Amy, but she said she doesn’t know and that no one knows, all uncles and aunties included. So I guess only my parents know. No, maybe they don’t. I may be some abandoned child, since Amy told me that when I was young I was very weak and sickly.

Now seated next to me are a mother and her daughter. The daughter is a down syndrome intellectually disabled kid around 7 year old, while the mother looked like a Filipino. Whatever it is, they are of vastly different skin colour. If I am not wrong, this is not the first time I see them on bus 151. From observation it is highly likely that the child is an adoptee. Very few would be willing to accept a child as they own when he/she is not. In other words, to take a child who didn’t come out of her womb as her own child. The greatest kind of love is the love an adoptive parent can give to the adopted child. I guess that’s the biggest lesson I gathered from my own incident.

Why do I have so many emotional wreckages to go through? Why is my life ever so dramatic? Why can’t I be part of this big family... at least the blood running in me isn’t the same blood running in all of them.

Somehow, I feel like I’ve just been taught a lesson on how to love; how to love better; and love with even more of me. I realise I do love my relatives, regardless of how badly they have treated my parents, how much they despised my family. I love them for their capacity to love and accept. I admire them for that, for everything they have done for me despite knowing that I am not part of them right from the start. I love them for treating me the same way as how they would treat everyone else under this big family tree. My parents and them – their love so great that I was totally convinced from the beginning. I never had any shadow of a doubt that I was actually an orphan. Because of this, I learned to love even more, to really accept everyone for everything. I love them, all of them.

Because of the fact that the secret was kept so well that I didn’t have any doubt about it, I am finding it hard to accept the reality put forth before me now. I want to turn to someone, but I don't wanna disturb people. Mei’s got her own problems. Neng’s busy with her ‘A’ levels. But it really helps a great deal penning my thoughts down. That’s the only comfort now. Hang in there, wuzhen. Tough times don’t last; tough men do. Below is a short poem I found in the book “Gift of Roots”, which writes about adoption and a few real stories.

Could we only draw the curtain
that surrounds each other’s lives,
See the naked heart and spirit,
know what spur to action drives —
Often we should find it better,
purer than we judge we should,
We would love each other better,
if only we understood.

— Author unknown

Papa and mummy, I understand now, and I love both of you.

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [last]

2009-12-02T17:03:00.008+08:00

continuation... and to anyone reading this, you might want to refer to archives on the right panel, and read in order from Wuzhen? [1]. This is one whole chain of events in the order of time. Regards. :]

-----Written 17/12/2008-----

Yesterday I went to NHC for my heart appointment. It was my first time going there alone to see my cardiologist. Scary day. I’m having mild palpitations now, actually since yesterday. I guessed it’s because of an underlying fear – the fear of having to go through a new and more dangerous method of surgery. Dr. Teo told me he doesn’t have any more ways to deal with my Wolff Parkinson White syndrome, and that he has one last trick left. That is to poke the catheter through my chest-diaphragm area to reach my heart. This would require the catheter to penetrate the fatty membrane lining the outer surface of the heart, which is a very thin layer of only about few millimetres. And he says that there is this possibility of poking the heart, thereby causing heart perfusion. If that happens, I’ll have to be sent to the Operation Theatre immediately for open heart surgery.

I’m not afraid of the poking, the surgery... I think I’m afraid of the possibility of open heart surgery, but definitely not the poking in the chest. I think I’ve long gotten use to pain – the pain of needles, wires, catheters poking everywhere. After these 7 years of battling against WPW, yes I have gotten use to it. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid of dying and leaving my parents behind, alone, childless – once again. I know they need me. I have to be brave, and I have to survive... through all rubble and ruins of life.

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [4]

2009-12-02T16:11:00.001+08:00

continuation...

-----Written 16/10/2008-----

Today's a special day - papa's birthday. Shall give him a call to wish him later. I don't know if this is considered running away from reality...but I've been searching high and low for evidence to prove my own suspicion wrong.

First, the blood group. Despite knowing that mistakes in such scenarios happening in the lab like getting patients' data mixed up are almost impossible, I still chose to believe that I might be the lucky (or unlucky) one. Secondly, the day I ran into the wanton mee uncle. I was thinking it could just well be another rumour. People love rumours don't they? But I do know very certainly that rumours don't come from nowhere and there is sure to be some basis to it. Maybe they didn't see my mum getting pregnant yet I popped out all of a sudden. And to top up with that, the uncle sounded really sure. His tone sort of convinced me that all these are true.

For the 1 week or so after the traumatising encounter on bus 74, I've been going through a seriously hard mental battle. Subconciously, I've been solving puzzles unsolved this past 19 years... and for every action they (my parents) take I will just pay a little more attention to them. Almost every minute where my mind is not occupied with schoolwork it will be thinking about this. I kept looking for ways to prove the suspicion wrong (or maybe it isn't a suspicion at all), but time and again things happen to prove me otherwise.

Just yesterday, I made another discovery. My mum was looking for my POSB account savings book, so she was ransacking through the bag of important documents. I see my birth certificate. Actually I've seen that birth cert a couple of times already but I've never paid much attention to the details. To my bewilderment, the date of issue typed at the bottom of the certificate was dated 5th April 1990. This wasn't right. Aren't infants supposed to register their births within 14days post-birth? How could law be so extensively violated that birth was only registered almost a year after birth? (My birthdate is 25th July 1989.)

So I went to check out the details for birth registration at the ICA website...and I started doing alot of research on the procedures for adoption of infants in Singapore. Yes I was right, it needs to be done within 2 weeks. How did mine lag one whole year after I was born? I started to think of stupid reasons to account for this. Like maybe the technology failed for my case (like how it failed me in the lab test) or something. I read up about adoption, and everything seems (to an inexperienced eye), in agreement with my case! It says that an adopted child can change his/her surname to the adoptive parents' surnames and create a new birthcertificate with the parents' particulars filled in just like any other child's. And the only difference is the data of birth registration. This is what I felt has happened to me. If all these were true... then I'm certain lying somewhere else at home is my original birth certificate, the one registered when I was just born.

I randomly asked my mum whether they do birth registration immediately after they were born, my mum said yes, and it's the same for my case. Is my mum lying? The date of issue is almost a year after the actual date of my birth! She probably didn't know that the date of issue was written there, as both my dad and mum are iliterate.

I concluded that if I were really an adopted child (and everything now seems to prove I am one), I can find out easily at some child adoption agency or even, ICA. But then I realised there's an issue of confidentiality in government organisations so it is not possible for me to do that. Maybe for now it is not yet the right time to do anything about this. I shall just accept it for the time being - and gradually learn to accept this fact for the rest of my life, live with it, and get used to it.

This sense of betrayal is very strong and extremely hurtful indeed. So much so that at this moment in time I can't trust them already, at least not as much as in the past. Being a trusting person who believes in almost everyone it's weird I'm feeling like that. And I don't like to feel like that. But am I in the position to do anything about it? I guess not.

When it comes to affairs of the heart, things can really get quite complicated and difficult to handle.

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [2]

2009-12-02T15:13:00.004+08:00

continuation...

-----Written 9/10/2008-----

Yesterday was a bad day; in fact I am feeling terrible still. Where's the wuzhen who usually takes just one day to bounce back from disappointments? I woke up late yesterday, went to school for lectures and then met up mei at Kent Ridge Terminal. I'm glad I had her by my side...at least I won't be thinking too much about that thing.

I was glad to see such a positive change in her 2 nights ago, but yesterday it was sort of back to square one. It's been quite some time since I last saw her in a state of trepidation. I felt useless. I can't help her out of her situation.

This time, I was feeling even more useless than before. Because I am emotionally drained myself. A part of me is worrying about her, and the other big part of me is still traumatised by what happened on bus 74. I don't wish to approach Jianeng too much for fear that it would affect her revision for Alevels. And I won't tell mei too, cos she's worn out herself. So what I do now is to grit my teeth hard, put up an emotional battle by trying to put my troubles aside and help her get through hers. Sometimes when you get busy helping others you won't have time to think about your own troubles. So I did that. But that didnt last too long. By 1am, I was already so tired I couldn't continue to put up with a strong front. Jianeng once told me what Buddha said: "To help others, you've got to help yourself out first." Buddha's right.

It was immense heartache to leave a emotionally-beaten soul alone, but this time there's really nothing left of me that could keep me going on. So I decided to leave everything as it is, and go to bed. But no matter how hard I try, I just couldn't get to sleep. Each time I'm alone...no, maybe all the time, almost every single minute, I'll be thinking about - that thing.

First, the scene on bus 74 just keeps appearing in my head. When I finally stopped myself from thinking about it, the scene of me receiving my blood tgroup results will appear in my head next. And then there'll be a flashback of all my past 19 years of life lived so far, my childhood. I really don't know whether this will happen every night...but at least for these two nights I have been crying myself to sleep.

It is 9am now on bus 151, and I'm on my way to school for organic chem lecture. Crowded bus as usual. I better stop crying to avoid attracting attention. So I guess I should stop writing at least for now. Maybe I'll continue tomorrow.

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [1]

2009-12-02T14:52:00.008+08:00

For the exact one year that passed, I went through a series of events that taught me great lessons...however I have never had the chance to blog about it, little courage to share it, and due to some reasons I couldn't just tell everyone about it. Now, one year later, I'm transferring secret diary entries that were manually written down somewhere in a notebook of mine, all here. My only intention of sharing things so deep from my heart, is just so to inspire and encourage anyone who has a similar situation, or if not, are also caught in some other life's greatest wreckages.

-----Written 8/10/2008-----

Wu Zhen? Where do I come from? I used to think this is a stupid question, but now I no longer. I find myself asking a lot of questions in my head. Where am I from? Does it mean I have no kin if all these were to be true? Half of me still constantly attempts to convince myself that some error occurred with the bloodtest, or samples were mixed up by chance. But the possibility of that happening is... just too insignificant.

A couple of months ago, December last year, I represented SIngapore at the East Asia Youth Leadership Form held at Thailand. National Youth Council needed our blood groups, so I went for a blood test as I didn't know of mine. Results came out and I'm a B, rhesus positive (B+). How can that ever be possible? My mum is an O+, my dad's an A+. From my knowledge of blood group alleles, my mum should have only recessive O alleles and my dad's either double A alleles or 1A 1O. Where did my B allele come from?

Up till that point in time, I only had one argument to substantiate the suspicion that they aren't my biological parents. That is - something must have gone wrong in the labs. One of us must have a wrong blood test result. I only had this argument that supports the suspicion. So I just dismissed that ridiculous thought.

Confrontation? Yes, I did approach my mum about it a few times. Although she seemed a little shaky for the few times I confronted her, I choose to believe her, that I really was born from her womb. There was once where I went quite deep into our conversation. I questioned alot. And my mum gave me an answer that wasn't very clear. She said this: "Aiya it doesn't matter right, as long as I dote on you, doesn't matter whether you're my real daughter or not." I got a little more suspicious, for I could feel my mum's statements losing their usual persuasiveness.

I approached a few people about this - and no one could give me an explanation to the part about the allelic differences.

Just yesterday, while I was on my way home from NJC (I went back to visit after my module lessons ended), on bus 74, I bumped into this wanton mee uncle whom I have known for many many years since young. The market which was once my second home will soon be demolished, so most of the stall vendors have moved out to other markets/hawker centres, including this wanton mee uncle. We were talking about the market, the stalls, and then he went on to talk about my parents - telling my about how long they have been working and it's been 30 years of tending the fruitstall.

Then, he said something that really sent me shaking from spine down. He told me I was bought with $$money, or adopted, and that my parents are not my biological ones. I could feel myself shaking from inside. It was just too, overwhelming. That was a crowded bus during the evening off-work hours, where passengers were standing only inches away...and he was talking very loudly. Everyone around us were listening to our conversation, whether they want it or not. The uncle sounded so convincing that no matter how affirmed I seem, I just couldn't help but feel that this is all so true. What a coincidence, to meet someone who told me everything about my past, just when I was still having doubts about things... just when I was thinking about our incompatible blood types...

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [6]

2009-12-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

continuation...

-----Written 1/11/2008-----

Why are all the forces pulling me apart? I'm snapping, I seriously am. I thought I've gotten over nightmare, but I have not. I've been crying without trigger almost everyday since the first day I pen down entries in this notebook secretly. Every morning on 151 to school, I would sit at the same corner, look out of the window and let the tears wash me over. In school, I could just start crying in the middle of statistics tutorial for no apparent reason. The flashbacks are totally crushing me.

I hate myself. My palpitations are back recently. Let's hope I'll just suddenly die of it so that all these will end. Yes, put an end to all this. I'm seriously tired.

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [5]

2009-12-02T16:23:00.000+08:00

continuation...

-----Written 28/10/2008-----

Almost three weeks have passed since the traumatising encounter, 2 weeks since the discovery about the date of issue. I think I'm recovering fast! Like in the past, nothing has really changed except feelings on my part. Just a few days back, I went to AMKHub with my parents for dinner, walk-walk, and settle NTUC Income stuff. This is what we do once in a while. Maybe it's because I've already fully accepted the fact that they aren't my biological parents...but it could also be a case where I just totally dismissed all that happened in the past three weeks behind my head, and treat it like errors happened in the lab, on the birthcert there was typo, and rumours were going around in the market 19 years ago. I don't know which way it is also but I'm really just glad that I'm almost over and done with this emotional battle.

I'm hoping that my parents will soon reveal to me the truth. I think I still trust them as much as before...so much that without affirmation from their side I wont 100% believe in all the proof and discoveries I have made. So I'm really hoping that they'll tell me soon. Part of the reason is that I want to share this story (together with my already-happening life journey) with many people, and encourage those who have fallen amidst life's odds to stand up and embrace the challenges bravely once more. I want to teach everyone to love - everyone else. So that this world would be a better place. No, maybe not that impactful to change the world, but at least within this circle in Singapore. :)

I have a plan for myself now after the exams in november and YEP to Myanmar this december. I am going to contact National Youth Council to see how much they can help me with my plan - to speak at many many schools, spread this and hopefully be able to help someone. If the schools pay me for the service, I can donate all the money I managed to collect to any organisation which needs help.

From next January onwards, when I'm already back from Myanmar, I will be starting on this plan of mine. There is something else I want to do on top of what I mentioned above. I would also hope to go for a professional speaking course. With these two goals in mind, I will be putting aside all my other commitments, and...troubles.

Wish me luck! :)

-----End of entry-----

Wuzhen? [3]

2009-12-02T15:43:00.000+08:00

continuation...

-----Written 10/10/2008-----

I have been crying to sleep every night since the traumatising event on bus 74 happened. I told the people around me that I will be strong, but I end up pretending to be strong... And on crowded bus rides I'll tear, looking out of the window hoping that no one will notice me.

I tried very hard to smile yesterday at NJC when mugging with gladys and neng. I succeeded I think, but it was really tiring. Especially when I see bio questions on their notes that talk about blood group alleles. I think if I were to write any book one day about me and my life journey, I might call it 'The B Allele'. Indeed, the B allele that came from nowhere.

Hitherto, I'm still drowned in feelings of fear, insecurity, and solitude. Just yesterday morning, I accidentally overheard my parents' conversation. Actually they were playing away...my mum was teasing my dad, telling him how unlucky she was to have married him..in a joking tone. But my mum accidentally blurted out something like: "no money, no luxury, no childr.." and then she held back very quickly. I was brushing my teeth then. So that second, I stopped too and turned to look at both of them who were in the living room. Mum was looking in my direction as well, stunned. But the eye contact only lasted for a while before I went back to my toothbrush and her, back to their conversation. I wonder if I did hear the right thing. Half of me is hoping that all these are but just false accusations on my part - but how to when I'm so totally convinced? I've got witness now, and scientific proof, not just my own rootless observations.

Academically, I'm almost lagging behind in everything. I've not been performing because I've not been giving my best...and all this because I'm already on the verge of snapping. Neng is right. When you really want to die, you won't say it. You'll just leave a letter behind. When you really don't wish to bother another person with your own issues, you'll do everything to safekeep it somewhere in your heart, or here, in a notebook kept from the rest of the world.

I wish I could tell someone all these struggles, have a long conversation and heart-to-heart talk. But mei's hurt herself, and neng's gonna sit for As soon. Okay, I have an idea. Mugging might be a good distraction. I got my math midterm minutes ago, 76/100. Saw others with 93 and 98. I guess mine should be really bad.

Give me the strength to carry on, give me the ability to put all my troubles behind me...concentrate on my studies and even best, be able to help others along. I don't want to be like that forever. Convince me that my problem is nothing compared to others. Yes, I'll be able to do all this. I will.

On a further note, I realise writing out my inner and truest feelings help alot. It's like really telling someone about it so that I can put a little bit of it behind me and move on. Mei said it's selfish to keep things to myself, maybe I agree...but there are really times where you cannot share. Those are the times when sharing, or just being reminded of something, makes you want to crumble.

In any case, I'll be strong. I will.

-----End of entry-----

Dr. Roland Su

2009-11-19T22:44:00.018+08:00

Dr Roland Su is a senior physics lecturer - and hence is someone I have never been taught by this 3 semesters in NUS. Not a person who would frequently knock at the doors of professors, I am not particularly close to any teaching staff in school. But still, I came across a small handful of really student-centred professors in the Faculty of Science. Compared to a big pool of those who are not, these profs really do stand out, and one of them is none other than Dr Roland Su.

My only contact with him was at my student exchange interview. It was a competitive interview with 12 interviewees and 5 interviewers including himself. Dr Su is himself the associate dean for International Student Exchange, the advisor for a residence in NUS, one of the founders of NUS High School...and with all these highest accolades he had never pitted himself at a higher level than his students. Sometimes I'll see him around S16 building at Science, with his wife and his young kids only around 5-year-old. He knows how to enjoy life's simplest pleasures and the last thing I heard from him was at the interview when he mentioned about some vietnamese food he's particularly in love with and would want to go there soon to try it again.

All of a sudden 2 days ago, Dr Roland Su died in the gym in NUS. I couldn't believe it when I saw the email from the science dean's office.

Memories and Condolences

Straits Times

After knowing of my successful interview results there were many occasions where I wanted to just go and thank him personally. Many times I see him walk past s16 or the canteen but I just decided to approach him next time - I thought I would definitely meet him again for many more times with issues regarding the exchange procedures. In the end, my word of thanks is still kept here, with me.

Dr Roland Su lived benefiting the lives of many - giving opportunities to whoever's ready to embrace them, and that included me. He died teaching me a lesson - don't ever keep your word of thanks to yourself for too long. In fact, don't ever try to keep it - or you may have to just keep it with you forever... and live to regret.

That made a difference.

2009-10-17T13:52:00.010+08:00

Yesterday was 16 October, my papa's 67th birthday :D and also yiling's 20th birthday :D

Just 2 days back on Thursday afternoon I was invited by Darren to speak at SRJC. Darren was invited by one of the teachers in SRJC who also happens to be a toastmaster. We were there to actually speak to the J1 cohort about Project Work oral presentation skills. and I thought it was going to be really dry and boring... turns out it was so much fun and laughter and the students were really a group of receptive audience.

It was only on Wednesday night where I met Darren again at Hougang Toastmasters after years of not catching up since we left Xinmin. Somehow, seeing how much he has achieved today not only makes me feel exceptionally proud of him but also allowed me to experience the joy of seeing others grow. I guess this is one thing I will continue to look forward to in my profession.

5 years ago, we were all just typical Xinmin students (so called neighbourhood school students), without anything on the portfolio, no achievements no voluntary work.. life then only revolved around studies, and the many ccas we take part in , one of which is Debate. And in that year we were both at SRJC for a North zone tournament which got us our championships. Following that I lost touch of debate because of the turning point that made me lose all my stage confidence. And Darren continued his quest in debate as well as in public speaking.

Upon graduation, we went separate ways. Him to HwaChong and me to NJ. Although our schools are just opposite of each other, we never had a chance to bump into each other. All of a sudden recently I realised Darren also became a toastmaster, and he joined in February this year too. This day, we are both reunited at SRJC 5 years later, not for tournament this time as students, but there as guest speakers. (too bad no full reunion as the other person in our team is now in cambridge)

Darren's learning curve is a really steep one and I really look up to him on that. I am so proud of Saili and am especially proud of him. He is really making full use of his time in Army now (when he still doesn't need to juggle schwork and exams) ... to improve himself. Within 7 months in Toastmasters, I have just done my Competent Communicator Project 4, yet Darren has completed the CC manual, + 5 or 6 manuals from the Advanced Communicator Series, + took part in various contests even up to district level (meaning going overseas to compete against hongkong cambodia etc..) + took up office as the President of Punggol CC Toastmasters Club + juggling 5 tuition kids (of which 2 are in the SRJC cohort we spoke to) + giving training to institutions like what we have just done on Thursday.

And beyond all these, he is also planning to start his own enterprise - a public speaking training company, and all these will continue even after he starts school next August to pursue a double degree in Law and Business at NUS.

I can't help but feel really happy for Darren... so much impressed by how much he has gone out to achieve in life when we once started at the same level.

Sometimes when things get tough in school and when I start to feel like I really have to sit down and put in a little bit more time into my schoolwork, I will be reminded of people like Darren as well as others who were from Xinmin and NJC. These two schools where I meet many like-minded friends who don't just want to do well academically in life, but have many others goals and noble aspirations to help others. And so it didn't ever mattered to these people when they are drowned in schoolwork and tests and labreports etc. They might be complaining away, but deep down inside they know exactly what they are doing, and they are happy with things this way. My bestie is another example - medical school doesn't stop her from participating in the overseas aid trips and other activities alike.

All these people add lasting value to the lives of others - including mine! They never fail to make me feel much better about all that I am doing, because they show me by example, that the time sacrificed is worth it.
Just on thursday when I left SRJC after my second round of motivational speech, an indian girl who was sitting in the audience stopped me at the gate. "Thanks Diana!" I turned back, wondering if she was talking to me, cos it's impossible to recognise any of them when you just spoke to 800 of them and they all look the same in sr uniform. "Thanks for inspiring me." "welcome, my pleasure." :D and as I went home I told my mum about it. I felt awesome, it feels so great to know that you've managed to make a difference to someone. Though I guess she might never realise, that what she said made an even greater difference to me.

Mid-terms

2009-09-26T02:10:00.005+08:00

It's mid-term break and mid-term break is usually equivalent to no-break. I have got two mid-terms next tuesday and wednesday and of which one module called Cell Biology is crazily heavy in content. It is really more like an 8 modular credits module than a 4 modular credits one. =\

It's crazy to know the many activities happening in just one cell oh my god. And this reminds me of one of the table topics I heard at our regular toastmaster chapter meetings "What can you do in 1 second." ....that guy who gave the impromptu speech said the only think we could do is to think. Now I have a differing opinion to that. In one second don't know how many (cannot remember) mRNAs are exiting one single nuclear pore and one nucleus alone in one single cell has 3000 nuclear pores.

Anyway, I am a bad girl. I only realised today that I pon-ed 5 lsm2103 lectures in total, and therefore got 5 overdue webcast lectures to watch. It's already 2am on Saturday now and I'm only done with 2½ out of the 5. ):

Commitments

2009-08-30T23:57:00.005+08:00

A few hours ago I took out my schoolwork and was ready to sit down and do a little bit of revision after a whole day sleep due to fever. And as I sat down I realise I couldn't concentrate at all...many things were running through my head.

So I did a mental list of the commitments in hand now:

1. Toastmasters

2. Myanmar YEP

3. Tuition for Natalin

4. Voluntary tutoring at Club Rainbow

5. Application for SEP

6. Schoolwork with 5 heavy modules

A week ago I was asked to be co-leader for the Myanmar YEP. I accepted the offer as being in Myanmar in December would mean I could fulfil a promise I made last year. I promised a girl by the name of su su htwe in Andrew Orphanage (yangon), that we'll keep in contact and I'll visit her again. Ever since coming back to Singapore I've held on to this promise and waiting to fulfil it come December 2009. And so happily I agreed to be the vice project director of this Myanmar team cos that would give me an opportunity to fulfil my little promise.

Just a few hours ago, I made an irresponsible decision to back out. Even though I might be seen as a person not to be trusted, I decided I should back out early. And as for the little promise, I will fulfil it, maybe on a 2day backpack trip to Myanmar, either this Christmas or Next June.

Looking at my list of commitments scares me, and it stresses me out too much because for each of the commitment I always want to do my best for it. If I can't do a good job I would rather not do it, which is why I terminated work at Jurong East. So out of the list I decided I should eliminate one of them. And of the list of things I decided to strike of 'Myanmar YEP'.

I want to have more time with my aged parents, which is top on my list.

Have you ever been in such a position, where you were forced to make a quick decision. Like in my case, "A - go YEP, pre-trip planning will be hectic, mum will be worried if i go, but i'll get to learn so much and grow." and "B - do without the trip, stay in Singapore and spend more time with my family." And so you say "Ok I will choose B and spend more time with your family." The question now is "Are you sure you will spend more time with your family if you were to stay in Singapore?"

Sometimes we encounter such situations, where we have to make a choice. Most of the time life is not so ideal as to let us embrace the best of both worlds. Under such circumstances, you actually learn which are your priorities in life, cos your ultimate decision will be in favor of the something top on your priority list. It is also under such circumstances where you would end up saying "Ok i will choose B and spend more time with my family." In actual fact, would you really spend more time with your family? Would it really make a difference in the amount of time/quality of time you spend with them?

This whole issue just boils down to one thing. When you make a choice to do something, sometimes (not all the time) we will tend to tie it to another something and make the decision and "EITHER-OR". And then just tell ourselves that time doesn't allow and hence I gotta make a choice. Actually, you are only making a choice, one choice, surrounding that something you are deciding whether to commit to. You tie it to another to make it either-or just so because you want to feel like you have a valid excuse to strike out one of them.

In fact, I was just making a decision of whether to lead the Myanmar team, or not to lead. I guess it really isn't an either myanmar-or my time with my parents thing. Cos ultimately if you really want to do something, all the tissues and cells in your body will be with you to pursue that something you want to do. And nothing can stop you, virtually nothing can as long as you have the unrelenting determination to persevere through. And I could have just chosen both. I would just squeeze out time for my family and make sure the little time I get to spend home are quality time.

I concluded that the part about spending more time with my parents could just be an excuse to tide over this dilemma, or to help me make a decision cos I'm introducing one more factor of consideration. In reality, the decision to back out or not is only an affair of Myanmar with no other of my priorities in the picture. I can only say, maybe in the first place I wasnt passionate enough about it. And backing out from it is no one's fault but mine alone.

With that I have decided, that I have since made the choice not to embark on the YEP, I will make sure it is not just an excuse to spend more quality time with my parents. I will really do it, bring them out even more often and make them happy...for their joy is mine and if they are happy, I will also be.

I will make sure my time in Singapore is well-spent, now that I don't have Myanmar to commit to. I will do my best for all the other commitments. And in whatever I do wherever I am, I will make sure my heart is also there.

Two great people

2009-08-31T22:02:00.007+08:00

Princess Diana (1 July 1961 - 31 August 1997)

Princess Diana and her sons Prince William and Prince Harry

Starting in the mid- to late 1980s, the Princess of Wales became increasingly known for her support of numerous charities. This stemmed naturally from her role as Princess of Wales—she was expected to visit hospitals and other state agencies in the 20th century model of royal patronage. Diana, however, developed an interest in serious illnesses and health-related matters outside the purview of traditional royal involvement, including AIDS and leprosy. In addition, the Princess patronised charities and organisations working with the homeless, youth, drug addicts and the elderly. From 1989, she was President of Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children. Diana was most famously, in the last year of her life, the most visible supporter of the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, a campaign that went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997 after her death, which many believed was a posthumous tribute to the Princess.

Humanitarian work

In April 1987, the Princess of Wales was one of the first public figures to be photographed touching a person infected with HIV. She contributed to changing the public opinion of AIDS sufferers during the subsequent years, as her involvement with a variety of AIDS charities, not only in the United Kingdom but in North America, Africa and Asia as well, was a consistent public role she embraced.

Meeting Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa (26 August 1910 - 5 September 1997)

Mother Teresa (August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997), born Agnesë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (real name), was an Albanian Roman Catholic nun with Indian citizenship who founded the Missionaries of Charity in Kolkata (Calcutta), India in 1950. For over 45 years she ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying, while guiding the Missionaries of Charity's expansion, first throughout India and then in other countries.

By the 1970s she was internationally famed as a humanitarian and advocate for the poor and helpless, due in part to a documentary, and book, Something Beautiful for God by Malcolm Muggeridge. She won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 and India's highest civilian honour, the Bharat Ratna, in 1980 for her humanitarian work. Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity continued to expand, and at the time of her death it was operating 610 missions in 123 countries, including hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, soup kitchens, children's and family counselling programs, orphanages, and schools.

Today, 31st August, is Princess Diana's death anniversary and Mother Teresa's on 5th September. Within a week in the same year 1997 we lost two great people - yet the world continues to gain so much...from the legacies they left behind.

Dr Henry Lee

2009-10-03T21:33:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was Friday, and as usual Daryl and I had Forensic Science Lecture at night. Forensic Science lectures are always full-house even though it's the only lecture held at night from 7 to 10pm.

Last night, we had Dr Henry Lee with us, the world famous number 1 forensic scientist. He came in with a whole gorup of people, and even police officers from CID came to crash our lectures just to sit in and hear him speak. Prof Stella Tan then told us that he actually rejected an invitation by the China government to attend a commissioner ceremony, just to come to Singapore to give us this 3 hour lecture. Oh and he's paid 10,000 USD for each hour by NUS omg! Bidding so much for this module is really worth it, with a big-shot guest lecturer almost every single week.

And so when he entered the lecture theatre from the front, the applause from 400 of us was almost like a standing ovation.

Then, just minutes into the lecture proper, I realised I was sitting in a lecture by such a great speaker and inspirational figure. Every few minutes he would say something that tickles all of us and sends laughter across the whole LT. He's so full of humour, so eloquent, so convincing and most importantly so inspirational.

Dr Henry Lee was born in China, and he grew up in a family of 14... 13 siblings including himself + his mother who single-handedly raised up the 13 kids as his father died when he was 4. His grades in high school weren't great but later in his life when he did his PhD in forensics, he completed the PhD in 1 year! And in this 50 years of experience in the forensic science field he has been invited by more than 40 countries around the world to crack countless homicide cases.

Indeed, There is no upper limit to what individuals are capable of doing with their mind. There is no age limit that bars them from the beginning. There is no obstacle that cannot be overcome if they persist and believe.

So... mm and nn, press on! for a levels and medical school respectively.

and HAPPY MID-AUTUMN everyone! :)

PS: here's a tip from a friend - u can buy mooncakes tomorrow because some shops with alot of leftover mooncakes will sell them at much lower prices to clear them as the occasion is over.

sad

2009-10-21T08:53:00.004+08:00

I have grown to realise that this is part of growing up. :( and i've grown more afraid of you than ever. :\

4th in level!

2009-11-03T15:45:00.011+08:00

I am finally done with my Cell Biology test and back here at my blog to pen down something that happened a few days back.

I must say I am feeling really happy, and I've been feeling like that since 3 days back. And I just can't miss this chance to pen it down in this online diary. I once mentioned about this girl I taught when I did my stint at the Jurong East tuition centre early this year - that was under the archived post 'A wait worthwhile" on 2nd August 2009.

Three days ago, that girl sent me an sms while I was mugging for my test. This was what she wrote:

"Hey.i got back my report card yesterday..well.I did fine..got de 4th in whole level..but still did not manage 2 go express..70% den can go 2 express..but onli got 68.7%..sigh..can't say i did my best cuz i noe i can do better but jux feel disappointed cuz i felt dat i let u down..reli sori bout dat.."

MAN. I was so overjoyed after reading that sms, how could I feel any tinge of disappointment? It really isn't easy to attain 4th in the level and actually I never expected her to crossover to the express stream. I just believed that she would achieve as much as others one day in the future no matter how long it's going to take her. And yet she tells me she's disappointed with her results. That made me even happier cos I could feel that she isn't satisfied with just 68.7% and she actually expects more from herself. I recalled the period of time where I just met her, where I just started teaching them, she doesn't seem to even care about anything that goes on in class/school. Her achievement today is really a milestone. =)

The best thing you can do for the whole world, is actually to make the most of yourself.

I am really happy, AHH... and I am convinced that I have found the feeling I have long been searching for. The feeling of seeing others grow, and nurture - is a feeling beyond what fanciful literature can express.

i miss octave

2009-11-07T14:46:00.014+08:00

taken at Peiyi Exc 2007. my favourite octave photo does not have peiwen inside =( as well as pj, se, jane, th, hh...

I am missing days in NJ...ALOT...

I also miss the Golden Rooster eating place in Coronation plaza - no -- i forgot, according to Guohui and I, should be "Laughing Rooster" instead. Haha forgot why we came up with that... people do alot of funny things during those school-uniform days XD Sometimes when I pass by coro on 151 I really felt like getting down for lunch at "Laughing Rooster" but then I have never done it cos I know it'll feel so different having a meal there without the same group of people around but alone.

I miss Octave. :\

TSPC 2009

2009-08-08T05:28:00.009+08:00

It was the Teaching Scholarship Presentation Ceremony (TSPC) 2 days ago. There are a few people who made this event possible for me, two of which are of high importance - my guarantors! My 4th uncle and my cousin yongchuan gorgor. Uncle's birthday was on 18 July, the day of the signing of agreement, and yongchuan gorgor's birthday was 2 days ago on the day of TSPC! Too much of a coincidence. :D

Wow, of the about 400 teachers-to-be, almost 3 quarters are the teaching award holders! =X There left the 85 of us TS locals and 52 TS overseas. Most of the TS (L)s went for OBS and so are found in our OBS watches so here I am with some photos of my watch KURT. Don't blink, there's a photo-of-year down there :P

Shaoxun, Din, Jeysthur, Yuting, Kaixin, Pohshen :)

Jeysthur & Pohshen

No complete Kurt photo that day =(

Jasmine, Kaixin, Yuting, Peiyee, Yuru, Me, Pohshen

TA DA DA DA !~ PHOTO OF THE YEAR! CANDID SHOTS ROCK. XD I bet harmoc people will like this hahahaha...

the ballroom during rehearsal

the ballroom filled

Kaixin, Peiyee, Yuru

Din & Weishan

This was also candid =x uploaded to reduce abit of my negative Karma from laughing at Peiyee =l

Pohshen and me

KURT girls but short of elizabeth =(

In order: Yuting Yuru Peiyee Kaixin, Jemimah me Weishan Jasmine

CIPTO. NUS clique, hokkien buddy. =)

Rui An - Stars of SHINE (Contribution) awardee 2008. (:

Best Papa and Mummy awardees 20 consecutive years and counting :D

Everyone is to invite one teacher to the ceremony, so this is who I invited, a teacher more like a friend than a teacher... mrs song, my upper sec E & A math teacher in xinmin =)

And I just love them :D -