Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Air on the G String - J.S. Bach
One of my favourite songs! The violinist is world renowned violinist Sarah Chang, born in philadelphia but of korean nationality. And J.S. Bach is none other than the famous Baroque composer legendarily known for the wonderful counterpoints in his pieces.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
It's not a dream.
I never knew you,
but I hope you know me.
I've been thinking about you,
have you been thinking about me too?
I am indeed contented to live this life,
with two angels by my side.
But it still feels like something is missing,
a very big part of me.
I have feelings I can't show,
emotions that are held back and swallowed.
But I'm really missing you,
the someone I don't even know...
but I hope you know me.
I've been thinking about you,
have you been thinking about me too?
I am indeed contented to live this life,
with two angels by my side.
But it still feels like something is missing,
a very big part of me.
I have feelings I can't show,
emotions that are held back and swallowed.
But I'm really missing you,
the someone I don't even know...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Back on Stage
It's been very long since I last typed an entry... and a great many things have happened in the past few weeks.
After the trip to Myanmar with Team A under NVAC (NUS Volunteer Action Committee -it's not a committee, nvac is a cca)... things sort of have died down to a closure, though I really hope this is not the case. Lining and Gen are in UK, Rachel in Germany, Maya flying off soon as well...all for student exchange... Cheesiong dage busy leading the next myanmar yep team (going this coming dec)... and others... including myself, are all back to our normal busy lives before we came together as a team. I miss those days at Myanmar where we had only one another to depend on. The flame of unity was burning so strong then... but now I wonder if it has extinguished? =(
Anyway, I joined a new CCA! :D
I'm really happy about it because of some reasons. I shall narrate a story and everything will then be clear.
5 years ago when I was in Secondary 3, I was a member in the School English Debate Team. Once when I was representing my school as 2nd speaker at a north zone tournament held at VJC, a heart relapse struck me in the middle of my speech and I blacked out in front of the audience - everyone. Everything that happened in the next few minutes remained a blur to me even till now. I only remember that it occurred after I finished my rebuttals and was going on to my points. We didn't win at that tournament. Not even top 4. Before that we had a N4 cluster debate tournament at SRJC and we were crowned champions. So I was very very sure that I was the root cause of that failed tournament at VJC. Since that tournament I've always blamed myself for pulling my team down. That was the last time I debated.
There was another similar incident in Secondary 3 where a heart relapse struck me on stage during a Guzheng performance. That was at Loyang Temple. It was mid-autumn festival and there were thousands of people there at the outdoor midautumn celebration. My relapse came in the middle of the song <渔舟唱晚> if I remember correctly. I only recall that it's a very draggy song and I really wished to quickly leave stage before I faint lying face-down on my Guzheng. But I bit my teeth hard and went on till the song ended. When we were all offstage my limbs were already cold and weak, haha.
So the above two incidents shattered all the confidence I have - specifically Stage confidence. That was one of the major turning points in my life. Why so? Because I loved the stage. Note the tenses. I mean, that was how I feel after the incidents. I contracted this disease called 'stage fright' and I fear going on stage. Every second on stage is a moment of trepidation. I couldn't stop thinking that a relapse would come again and cause my self-esteem to drop to an all-time low. From then on, I never wanted to be on stage again. It was so serious that I get sweaty palms and palpitations even when I was only doing a presentation in class.
It was only until July 2006 where things started to change. I only noticed the gradual change in me in 2007. Of course, some changes are so gradual that you only notice it when you look back at how you started... a long period of time later. I found back the bulk of the confidence I once had. And now, forget about the tenses stated above. I love the stage. I still do. Credit goes to.... *drum roll*... "HM061 National Junior College"! Haha. Ok, that was how our 2007 SYF results were announced. Yes, I think we all still remember this number - HM061. (HM = Harmonica Band) I can never elaborate enough how much my CCA has done for me. Maybe you can call this natural reciprocity. When I was given the responsibility of an SC and SL, I reciprocated by fulfilling my duties. And while fulfilling my duties, it reciprocated a change in me... and I grew with it. I found back something so dear to me that I lost a few years before. I'm not sure about others, but I'm sure Guohui and Waiyee will agree with me - that Harmoc was really a good cosy ground for growing and building bonds.
Ok that's it! So now I guess it's clear why I am in this current CCA in NUS. I want to build on this stage confidence I found back through my days in Harmoc, and become even better. Wish me luck!
www.toastmasters.org
Suddenly a thought came upon me. Aren't we all already taking centre-stage at this very second? Come to think about it... I've never been off-stage, neither has anyone... cos' afterall, life is a stage, and storylines are the stages of life.
After the trip to Myanmar with Team A under NVAC (NUS Volunteer Action Committee -it's not a committee, nvac is a cca)... things sort of have died down to a closure, though I really hope this is not the case. Lining and Gen are in UK, Rachel in Germany, Maya flying off soon as well...all for student exchange... Cheesiong dage busy leading the next myanmar yep team (going this coming dec)... and others... including myself, are all back to our normal busy lives before we came together as a team. I miss those days at Myanmar where we had only one another to depend on. The flame of unity was burning so strong then... but now I wonder if it has extinguished? =(
Anyway, I joined a new CCA! :D
I'm really happy about it because of some reasons. I shall narrate a story and everything will then be clear.
5 years ago when I was in Secondary 3, I was a member in the School English Debate Team. Once when I was representing my school as 2nd speaker at a north zone tournament held at VJC, a heart relapse struck me in the middle of my speech and I blacked out in front of the audience - everyone. Everything that happened in the next few minutes remained a blur to me even till now. I only remember that it occurred after I finished my rebuttals and was going on to my points. We didn't win at that tournament. Not even top 4. Before that we had a N4 cluster debate tournament at SRJC and we were crowned champions. So I was very very sure that I was the root cause of that failed tournament at VJC. Since that tournament I've always blamed myself for pulling my team down. That was the last time I debated.
There was another similar incident in Secondary 3 where a heart relapse struck me on stage during a Guzheng performance. That was at Loyang Temple. It was mid-autumn festival and there were thousands of people there at the outdoor midautumn celebration. My relapse came in the middle of the song <渔舟唱晚> if I remember correctly. I only recall that it's a very draggy song and I really wished to quickly leave stage before I faint lying face-down on my Guzheng. But I bit my teeth hard and went on till the song ended. When we were all offstage my limbs were already cold and weak, haha.
So the above two incidents shattered all the confidence I have - specifically Stage confidence. That was one of the major turning points in my life. Why so? Because I loved the stage. Note the tenses. I mean, that was how I feel after the incidents. I contracted this disease called 'stage fright' and I fear going on stage. Every second on stage is a moment of trepidation. I couldn't stop thinking that a relapse would come again and cause my self-esteem to drop to an all-time low. From then on, I never wanted to be on stage again. It was so serious that I get sweaty palms and palpitations even when I was only doing a presentation in class.
It was only until July 2006 where things started to change. I only noticed the gradual change in me in 2007. Of course, some changes are so gradual that you only notice it when you look back at how you started... a long period of time later. I found back the bulk of the confidence I once had. And now, forget about the tenses stated above. I love the stage. I still do. Credit goes to.... *drum roll*... "HM061 National Junior College"! Haha. Ok, that was how our 2007 SYF results were announced. Yes, I think we all still remember this number - HM061. (HM = Harmonica Band) I can never elaborate enough how much my CCA has done for me. Maybe you can call this natural reciprocity. When I was given the responsibility of an SC and SL, I reciprocated by fulfilling my duties. And while fulfilling my duties, it reciprocated a change in me... and I grew with it. I found back something so dear to me that I lost a few years before. I'm not sure about others, but I'm sure Guohui and Waiyee will agree with me - that Harmoc was really a good cosy ground for growing and building bonds.
Ok that's it! So now I guess it's clear why I am in this current CCA in NUS. I want to build on this stage confidence I found back through my days in Harmoc, and become even better. Wish me luck!
www.toastmasters.orgSuddenly a thought came upon me. Aren't we all already taking centre-stage at this very second? Come to think about it... I've never been off-stage, neither has anyone... cos' afterall, life is a stage, and storylines are the stages of life.
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