Missed calls

Maybe there's really something wrong with your phone, or maybe you accidentally hit the wrong button. This is the second time already, and today, it came right after my statistics paper. I don't know why a missed call can trigger such adrenaline rush in me. Everytime it comes with your name flashing on my phone my heart would escalate like mad. I returned your call today, asked whether you were looking for me. And all you said was you didnt, and then the call was abruptly cut off without a word of goodbye. Sometimes I really want to find a day to ask you out for a chit-chat, find out who that man is, but you know, I realised I'm quite afraid of you. My heart rate has never shot up so fast in one second and sunk down so fast when the call ended. The fear could be a fear of getting hurt.

I figured I really don't blame you, however much you've or will hurt me. Because I know I remind you of alot of the hurt and pain you went through, probably alone. I don't expect anything coming from you in the next 10 or 20 years, but I am determined to get over the fear of getting hurt by you. I believe I will, in time to come...and one day, love you.